Various people are expressing various kinds of shock at what Matt calls "the latest weird conservative sex scandal". Here's what surprised me the most: I hadn't realized, until I read part of the autopsy report, that if I die in any sort of weird or violent way, the lasting official record is going to involve some guy in a white coat describing most of my body parts as "unremarkable".
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I'm shocked . . . shocked!
10 Oct 2007 06:43 pm
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Comments (18)
I'd like to know how his spleen is "grossly unremarkable," when the rest of him is so unremarkable. Also, why does one of his lungs weigh twice as much as the other?
I wondered about that "grossly unremarkable" also. I'm guessing it's along the lines of this definition : gross:3 a : of, relating to, or dealing with general aspects or broad distinctions.
Also, why does one of his lungs weigh twice as much as the other?
I believe the human left lung is smaller because it fits around the heart.
The left lung should be a little smaller to squeeze the heart in but usually only in these proportions.
Inquiring minds want to know what parts of your body a coroner might find 'remarkable' in a medical sense.
"The decedent's navel is large enough to completely contain four rolls of gauze and six clamps. Scar tissue indicates long term use of the navel as a repository for car keys and lipstick."
Sadly, my most remarkable body part is probably my third eyebrow.
Yes/no Smokey. 7/4 ratio of lungs would be indicative of a problem in a young person, but as people get older symetry of organs (among many other things) tends to deteriorate. Indeed 50 years of sleeping on one side of the body (assuming he slept on his left side) would in itself explain the difference. Or he may have coontracted pneumonia in one lung or other disease. Who knows, he may even have developed a taste for kinky asphixiation based sex play and spent a significant amount of time tied up lying on his left side while breathing through a snorkel.
I don't understand what the scandal is about though. Is it because he wore TWO wet suits? I mean one should be enough, but it's not like he was having sex with congressional pages or anything.
Also puzzled by the location of the dildo with condom and the notation that back and anus were unremarkable. Jaded pathologist I guess who finds nothing remarkable about an anus with a condom covered didlo in it. Personally I might find something to remark about in that case, but I'm not a pathologist who sees that kinda thing every day.
"Sadly, my most remarkable body part is probably my third eyebrow." - M
so you're saying that your third eye isn't remarkable?
How did they know the weight of his organs? Do they cut them out and weigh them, or do they just estimate the weight from the size?
"the lasting official record is going to involve some guy in a white coat describing most of my body parts as "unremarkable"."
Yeah, I'd much prefer "Groin-grabbingly transcendant".
Having stayed at a HoidayInnExpress lately:
"grossly unremarkable" means they didn't cut it open since it looked normal on the outside.
Yes. They remove organs and weigh them.
Almost every Emergency Room has a secret file of XRays showing the outlines and innards of things that appear in the colons of their clients. Sex toys are so common they don't qualify as 'remarkable'. Example: the skeleton of a gerbil might--Just Maybe--be "remarkable" in a small town.
How does one go about hog-tying themselves while having a dildo in their anus?
I'm sure it's because I'm very naive in matters of erotic asphyxiation, but my mental imagery here (a very sorry image) would make me think first that this was a murder.
Half Canadian asks: "How does one go about hog-tying themselves while having a dildo in their anus?"
With Christ, all things are possible.
Weird? Come on, which one of you hasn't tried tying themselves up in two wetsuits, a mask, gloves and hood while having a dildo up your butt? Be honest!
I found a single wetsuit to be sufficient, but I'm easy to please.
John, I know there is nothing especially remarkable about a dildo being found in a person's anus, but I have difficulty actualizing that knowledge, it being outside my experience. (wow a pop psychology term I actually found a legitimate use for.)
On the bright side, the fact that the pathologist found nothing remarkable about finding a dildo in the man's anus is kind of comforting. Given the state my body may be in at the time of my death, it is kind of nice to think that "the lasting official record is going to involve some guy in a white coat describing most of my body parts as "unremarkable"."
"the lasting official record is going to involve some guy in a white coat describing most of my body parts as "unremarkable"."
Yeah, I'd much prefer "Groin-grabbingly transcendant".
Posted by michael farris
That sounds like a good description of a live Megan, but most of us would react very differently to a dead one. And if you are one of those that does get turned on by dead bodies and reveals that in writing a coroner's report, it'll be the last autopsy you do...
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If that's really what surprised you the most I'd like to read your diary.
Posted by MoeLarryAndJesus | October 10, 2007 8:28 PM