I am sitting in my apartment with a few other journalists, eating chips and watching the State of the Union. Bush looks like he has been preserved in formaldehyde; the Democrats look as if he is a particularly disgusting specimen they are being forced to examine, like a fetus with two heads. Hillary Clinton is, one can't help but notice, making sure the cameras catch her hugging every minority in the room. Barack Obama is staring at the ceiling as if he were actually planning to rise above all of this.
9:15 Handshaking over! Now speech
9:17 Grave danger that tax relief will not be made permanent! Not very specific about what the danger is, exactly, other than George W. Bush's taxes going up.
9:18 Republicans leap to their feet. Barack studiously sitting down and looking serious, with two fingers pressed over his pursed lips. One of the other journalists wonders if this is some sort of signal. Perhaps "Beam me up, Scotty".
9:24 Okay, I love me some trade deals. But even I find it hard to believe that the greatest threat to human liberty today is the specter that Panama may not be able to sell us handmade hats.
9:29 Calling for bans on the patenting of human life. Thank God, because after what the Patent office has done with computer algorithms, I'm afraid I'd find myself paying royalties to some guy in Idaho every time I take a deep breath.
9:32 The speculation on who tonight's SOTU special guest stars will be is growing to a fever pitch here at Stately McArdle Manor. Best guess so far: Heath Ledger's family.
9:34 President Bush says that illegal immigration is complicated, but it can be resolved, and must be resolved. But illegal immigration is probably the least complicated issue out there. The 3-10X wage differential across the US-Mexico border draws people here to work; it's hard to patrol more than a thousand miles of border. Unlike almost any other issue, there aren't really any complicated, wonky proposals out there that ordinary citizens have a hard time wrapping their brain around. The main proposal is a wall. Walls are not really very hard to understand.
9:39 Don't forget to play along at home
9:41 Thoughtfully, from one of my guests: "It's hard to differentiate between cheers and boos sometimes.
9:42 President Bush says that 80,000 Iraqi citizens are fighting the terrorists. This implies something disturbing about the other 25,920,000 Iraqi citizens.
9:46 The segment on Iraq is problematic: he wants to reassure Americans that they won't have to sacrifice much more, and scare the bejeesus out of the terrorists with our steely resolve. These are mutually exclusive goals.
9:51 Peace in Israel/Palestine. And a pony! Why does every American president with a grim-looking prognosis for their legacy try to salvage everything at the 11th hour by swashbuckling into Jerusalem with no political capital to spend and praying for a miraculous resolution of the least tractable conflict of the last 50 years?
9:55 Making fun of State of the Union speeches feels a little cheap. These speeches always have the informational content of a Highlights Rebus, and they're never more vacuous than in the last year of a presidency. George Bush isn't going to do anything in the next 12 months; the biggest achievement he can hope for right now is to veto a whole bunch of earmarks. And that isn't even his fault; no president gets anything done in their last year. So why make fun of him? Well, because if you want less of something, you should raise the price of it. Me, I want fewer vacuous political speeches.
9:58 Oh. My. God. As soon as the Bush says the word "African", CNN cuts to apparently specially staged woman in full African gear, with a child wrapped in a leopard print throw. "Cue human props!"
9:59 And yet, he's talking up the Millenium project, which is actually one of the great things this administration has done. This doesn't get nearly enough good press.
10:01 Bush sounds like he's telling the little nations that if they drink their milk, some day they will grow up to be just like America.
10:02 Let us go forth to do their business? Was that seriously the last line of his final State of the Union speech? Are we toilet training them? Who's writing his speeches these days--the copywriters for Charmin?
10:04 Wolf Blitzer ponderously declares "The state of the union will, he says, remain strong" as if this were somehow remarkable. Was he thinking that George Bush might come out and recite The Second Coming?
10:06 The commentators are discussing the possibility that George Bush will achieve piece in Israel/Palestine as if this were remotely feasible. Personally I think it would be even more remarkable if he suddenly developed the ability to heal the blind.
10:17 There's something really odd about being in the middle of a hotly contested Democratic primary involving two sitting senators, and having the Democratic response to the State of the Union be delivered by . . . the governor of Kansas.
10:22 She is asking the President to "join them". This seems unlikely. Also, even if he did, having a lame duck president with low double-digit approval ratings on your side is not all that helpful.
10:24 "I know government can work, Mr President, because like you, I grew up in a family devoted to public service." This makes it sound as if the purpose of government is providing jobs for every politician's child. Oh, wait . . .
10:26 A friend reminds me of the time I fell asleep in mid-sentence--my sentence. Apparently, the governnor is causing flashbacks.
10:28 Yes, snark is beneath me. But what else can you do? The speeches are totally content-free.
10:40 t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-hat's all folks!
6:43 - His recounting examples of "progress" in Iraq is the proverbial reorganization of deck chairs on the Titanic.
Bush looks like he has been preserved in formaldehyde; the Democrats look as if he is a particularly disgusting specimen they are being forced to examine, like a fetus with two heads.
You didn't know? Bush actually was born with two heads. One contained the brain, the other merely fluid. In a lengthy operation a few days after birth a team of surgeons planned to remove the fluid-filled head.
They got the wrong one.
Why isn't MY taxes going up a sufficient danger? Why do people like McArdle feel so entitled to appropriate my money to make themselves feel virtuous?
6:48 Iraq will have a civil war whether the US leaves tomorrow or five years from tomorrow. How can we continue to swallow "Things are about to get better - just give us another six months" for five years? OUT! NOW!
Vegan chips?
Ooh, what about Cheney?! For some reason I can't stop staring at his evil visage behind Bush.
I usually like your posts Megan, but this smarmy, smug treatment is dopey. I blame the fact that you are surrounded by "journalists," who I assume are, like the Samsonite monkeys, throwing stuff around your apartment and rudely scratching themselves.
could anyone tell me the special guests and what member of congress wasn't there? thanks!
Walls are okay. But topped by electified fencing and backed by land mines they should work even better.
Of course, that will then see the birth of a new Cuban boatbuilding industry. Cuba opens up a series of basic boatbuilding facilities in the northeast, and sets up a ferry from Mexico to NE Cuba. Mexicans then (over)pay for a ticket and a share of a boat; they are herded off the ferry in Cuba and loaded onto the boats with their fellow share-owners, and then make a break for Florida.
Gov. Sebelius has been mentioned as a possible future Presidential candidate. A moderate Democratic Governor from a red state could have some appeal.
Wouldn't it be interesting if Hillary gets the nomination and names Sebelius as her running mate?
http://www.chooseourpresident2008.com/sebelius.html
If I remember correctly, it was Wilson who began actually delivering these things in person regularly, instead of just mailing over a statement. If so, it is just another reason to despise that presidency.
I'd vote for anyone who promised to go back to the older tradition.
I could not believe that Nancy Pelosi would be reading a book during the State of the Union. For Pelosi to disrespect this democratic process, regardless of what she may think of President Bush, brings to question her fitness to hold the office of Speaker of the House.
I thought she was following a written version of the speech or just a "program" that they got. It didn't strike me a bit odd though.
"It didn't strike me a bit odd though."
I meant it DID strike me as odd.
This is the sort of post that must make the Atlantic elders second-guess themselves about whether it was a good idea to embrace this whole blogging concept. At the very least, they must realize that the practice of "live-blogging" needs to die.
Why on earth did I watch the MSNBC coverage after the debate.
The bottom line: Keith Olbermann is an ass.
No, he didn't remind viewers once again that he attended an Ivy League school. He just desperately tries to come across as the most intelligent person in the room. He comes across as sleezy, desperate, and nihilistic.
Someone needs to tell Keith that its not all about him.
Hey lauren, i think it was Bob Dole and Donna Shalala who were the special guests, but im not sure who was missing from there, sorry.
Don't let the Very Serious Commenters get you down, Megan. You're treating this pabulum with exactly the level of seriousness it deserves.
More Tee-hee, please.
What garbage! Did Megan get paid to write this crap?
OK, that made me snicker to the point of almost giggling in an unmanly fashion. Bush reciting The Second Coming to the assembled Congress as part of his SOTU address is such a wonderful mental image on so many levels that I can hardly bear it.
It would make for one hell of a SOTU, that's for sure.
Of course, the fact that it's 2:44 AM and I'm doing work on three different computers simultaneously may have something to do with the snickering/giggling. Break's over; back on my head. ..bruce..
Pay the naysayers no heed, Megan. Your snark is EXACTLY what this content-free dribble requires.
No martinis were made, consumed or even mentioned in this coverage. Unprofessional.
Megan McArdle deserves great credit for giving u the most vapid commentary on a state of the union address in the history of man. It's quite a feat, really, with so many contenders vying for the prize.
"Okay, I love me some trade deals. But even I find it hard to believe that the greatest threat to human liberty today is the specter that Panama may not be able to sell us handmade hats."-MM
There's a good example of McArdle's superficiality. Obviously such small trade deals on not very important economically for the United States, but they are important diplomatically. It evidently didn't occur to Ms. McArdle to consider that though.
This deal might also be significant to Panama, but why should McArdle worry her head about poor Panmanians? Maybe she would be better off sticking to fashion blogging. She certainly seems to have given more serious thought to the JCrew catalog than to the political debates going on in Washington.
Best live-blog I've read of the speech, but then I like snark. Especially this line, "Hillary Clinton is, one can't help but notice, making sure the cameras catch her hugging every minority in the room. Barack Obama is staring at the ceiling as if he were actually planning to rise above all of this."
Classic.
This is great "President Bush says that 80,000 Iraqi citizens are fighting the terrorists. This implies something disturbing about the other 25,920,000 Iraqi citizens."
What the hell is the implication? That Iraqi's love terrorists? Or that they are wimpy pacificsts?
"Was he thinking that George Bush might come out and recite The Second Coming?"
I always half-expect Jabberwocky
"The state of our union is brillig..."
And it really is soooo hysterical that little Health Ledger is dead. YAY!
Rickm wrote: And it really is soooo hysterical that little Health Ledger is dead. YAY!
Your exact words, preserved here for posterity, bud.
Was it not clear that I was mocking Megan?
Yes Rick, it was clear.
Liberal Rob, I don't think that a Clinton/Sebelius ticket is in the cards now that she has endorsed Obama.
I wish he had...this speech would have been interesting for Bush to deliver:
"YOU...are becoming gods. There's a new master of creation and it's you! You've unraveled DNA, and at the same time, you're cultivating bacteria strong enough to kill every living thing. You think you're ready for that much power? You lot? You lot? You cheeky bastards! You're running around with science like kids with guns. You're creating a new world while the world you've got is stinking rotten! Hands up! Hands up anyone who thinks they've got it right. Yeah. There's always one. I can see ya. If you want the position of God then take the responsibility."
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Second_Coming_(TV)
Unfortunatley, rob, Bush would never have given that speech. It would have been more like this.
"YOU PEOPLE...are becoming the deciders. There's a new castrator of my nation and it's -- the new creation master, I mean -- it's, like Time Magazine, you. You've traveled the length of the DNA, and at the same time, the terrorists are emboldedned to create new strains of biological Saddam weapons that the sucidie bombers in Iraq might have used. You lot think you're ready to achieve the power that you've acheived? Your like chiildren left behind in science, turning into guns instead. A new, post 9/11 world is here while the world before 9/11 is now past! Hands up! Hands up anyone who thinks their right hand has got it. Yep, I see that hand looking at me. If you want the position of God, then too bad, I checked and God says you can't have it."
Was it not clear that I was mocking Megan?
Ironically enough...was it not clear that I was returning the favor toward you?
I mean, if you want to pick on people by taking words out of context, spinning them into the most uncharitable thread possible, and then weaving that into a scarlet letter...be prepared to have the same done for your own enlightened prose.
I think that you meant LESS remarkable, yes?
Speaking for Congress... his approval rating his higher, so maybe he would help them...