There were ten in the bed and the little one said "roll over, roll over . . . "

Okay, this is funny:

Harold Meyerson:

"It is 3 a.m., and the stillness of the White House night is shattered by the ringing of the red phone. President John McCain, rousing himself from a deep sleep, turns on the light and picks up the receiver. A U.S. embassy in a Middle Eastern country, he is told, has been blown up, and al-Qaeda is taking credit.

McCain takes a deep breath. "Character counts, my friend," he says. "Bomb Iran. Bomb, bomb Iran."

There is a rustling of blankets, and, brushing aside Cindy McCain, a concerned Joe Lieberman rises from the bed. "Not Iran, Mr. President," he says. "They hate al-Qaeda."

"That's right," the president says. "I remember now." He sighs with relief. "Good thing you're here every night, Joe."

But suppose, dear reader, that John McCain becomes president and Joe Lieberman doesn't bunk with the McCains on a nightly basis. How easily should the rest of us sleep?"

Not easily at all. When what sanity your foreign policy has depends on the presence of Joe Lieberman, of all people, things have gotten pretty scary.

Besides, it's not as though McCain is only confused about foreign policy. Think of all the people who would have to be hidden under the covers just in case something came up. Economics isn't McCain's long suit, so I suppose Douglas Holtz-Eakin would have to be nestled in their somewhere, along with someone to correct McCain's little slips on science and public health. Luckily, his ignorance of history probably won't get him in trouble in the middle of the night, so historians everywhere can sleep easier knowing that they will not be called on for special White House duty.

But get Doug Holtz-Eakin out of that bed right now. For one thing, the image of him and John McCain cuddling up in their nighties is one I never, ever want to consider again. In fact, I'm considering having electroshock therapy in the hopes of incurring retrograde memory loss. And I like Doug Holtz-Eakin.

Second of all, there is no such thing as a 2 am economic crisis. Financial crises happen during trading hours. All other sorts of economic troubles develop at about the same pace as gingivitis.

I also get the feeling that the president is rarely pulled out of bed to discuss what to do about the latest E. Coli epidemic or vaccination guidelines.

Honestly, isn't foreign policy enough to worry about?

Comments

It was mildly funny when Yglesias blogged about it yesterday.

Posted by Fred | March 27, 2008 9:24 AM

Second of all, there is no such thing as a 2 am economic crisis. Financial crises happen during trading hours.

What about one that develops in Asia during that area's trading hours?

Posted by Peter | March 27, 2008 9:24 AM

...or Bear's crisis, which came to head over the weekend, in advance of Monday trading.

Posted by Amber | March 27, 2008 9:51 AM

Why, I didn't know that McCain and Lieberman were an item....

Gotta get the world out to the Log Cabin Republicans!

Posted by D | March 27, 2008 9:53 AM

Of course, it's false that Iran "hates al Qaeda". But, other than that... it's still not funny.

Posted by Al | March 27, 2008 10:01 AM

Whose strong suit is economics? McCain (whom I don't much like) at least understands that NAFTA didn't create unemployment in the rust belt and that cutting off foreign trade will not bring back all those dark satanic mills in which, for some obscure reason, all Americans now want to work, although there was a time when people's goals for their kids tended to include keeping them off the assembly lines. He has also opposed the ethanol boondoggle, which makes him the only presidential candidate since Bill Bradley to say anything sensible about the subject.

Posted by Alan Gunn | March 27, 2008 10:22 AM

Actually, Shiite Iran hates Sunni al Qaeda. But that doesn't mean that they won't assist them in sticking it to the infidels who they hate more.

Posted by CatCube | March 27, 2008 1:44 PM