Reader Sidney asks: "I have a date this weekend with a gal who's 6'3. Any tips?"
Candied parsnips. We all love candied parsnips. Little known fact, but true.
Well, seriously:
1) If she wears high heels, compliment her on them.
2) Do not make tall jokes.
3) Do not ask her if she played basketball. Or rowed. Or played volleyball. Or modeled. Or . . . you get the picture.
4) "I bet it's really hard to find clothes that fit" is also not a crowd-pleaser, as it carries the implication that the ones you're wearing, don't.
5) If you get there . . . kissing her standing up will feel desperately weird if you are not at least 6'4, and if you are taller than her, it will feel weird to her (don't be surprised if she stands on her tiptoes in an unconscious attempt to get back to "normal"). Also, all of your normal instincts for that special moment will result in awkward crane-like movements of your head as you discover that nothing is where you expect it to be. Unless you think that you can finesse this smoothly, best to make your initial move while sitting down.
After that, you're on your own.
Um... asking a tall women if she modeled is awkward? I mean, I can understand the basketball, volleyball stuff, but how could you not be complimented by being told you are beautiful?
Um... asking a tall women if she modeled is awkward? I mean, I can understand the basketball, volleyball stuff, but how could you not be complimented by being told you are beautiful?
Just don't ask if she modeled for the Rochester Big & Tall Catalog.
sking a tall women if she modeled is awkward?
1) It sounds like a cheap line, right up there with angels flying low and similar
2) It reminds her of the time, at age 16, when she was told to lose 30 pounds if she wanted to get "serious" about modeling.
3) If you must do something like this, complement her cuticles and ask if she was ever a hand model, or something.
Here's an indirect suggestion, since I frequently end up discussing work projects with a coworker who is a good 4" taller than me (well, actually he's Danish, so I guess that would be 10cm): don't try to face each other head-on while standing, or you'll end up taking Rod Lyman's advice and getting no second date.
I find that a conversation at an angle, while both of us are facing some other objective, allows for a more natural neck position and offsets the awkwardness of starting upward. If she likes sunsets, bowling, art gallery viewing, the zoo, or some other activity that allows for conversation without facing off directly, that could be a good way of reducing the awkwardness.
Filed for corrections:
1. That would be Rob Lyman.
2. That would be the aforementioned's advice from the previous thread, not this one.
3. Mouse, Esq. thanks the court for its patience.
It's Rob, Moose. And according to the rules of blog commenting, one misspelling means everything you write is totally wrong and deserving of offensively personal derision.
I find that a conversation at an angle, while both of us are facing some other objective
And this is how we know you're male. Men regard the sitting-in-the-car model of conversation as natural, women get mad because (they think) it means you're not really paying attention. I promise that she'll look briefly at whatever you're looking at and then turn to you to ask what you think of it.
You need to look into her eyes somehow if you want to engage her. So while distracting her with sunsets is a good idea, if you want to get to the awkward kissing stage (about which, I say: take her dancing and attempt a dip at the end), at some point you need to actually make eye contact.
Fantastic blog Megan. Best all day!
Yeah, asking a woman if she has modeled sounds like something commonly said as the bartender shouts "You don't have to go home, but you can't stay here!"
When you talk to her, look directly at whatever is at eye level.
Cold up there?
The thoughtful host of a tall woman always drives with the top down, makes sure that the tops of the doorways in his apartment are padded, places his couch up on blocks so that is easier to mount and dismount, and is able to wear 6 inch platform shoes without tripping.
Bill's comment reminds me of a date who got mad at me for where my eyes frequenty settled, after she decided to accompany me to a nice restaurant in an outfit which was practically topless.
I dated a tall (about 6'1) woman for a while. She really seemed to hate the fact that the me, the median man (5'10, 160 pounds), seems to have the whole world designed to suit my every need. This was a source of stress in our relationship, so be ready for that too - assuming you get into a relationship with her.
And the awkwardness of kissing someone taller than you never goes away. Or at least it didn't for me.
You need to look into her eyes somehow if you want to engage her. So while distracting her with sunsets is a good idea, if you want to get to the awkward kissing stage (about which, I say: take her dancing and attempt a dip at the end), at some point you need to actually make eye contact.
True. But quite a lot can be divined from casual conversation in the other fashion (which can include semiregular eye contact, incidentally), and the face-to-face stuff can be done later from a sitting position -- say, the meal that follows the afternoon outing and a quiet place thereafter.
And if her height is biased toward torso, the guy can wear a sport coat and then surreptitiously slip a phone book under his fanny while sitting down. Standing on tiptoe is somewhat more difficult to do pull off without looking forced.
"Candied parsnips. We all love candied parsnips. Little known fact, but true."
damn, sparky! now I know 20 years too frelling late...
as for the kissing, assuming it's agreeable to both the parties... begin with the closest skin, and trust nature.
assuming there is any talking to be done, act like size doesn't matter much... what would you do differently if she was only 5'? There are logistics differences in sweeping women off their feet, but making her the only important being in the room covers most of them, IMHO.
I'm sure all non-tall female readers of this thread are snickering about the "awkwardness of kissing someone taller", or of looking up during conversations. If you're female and under about 5'8" (which most women are), that describes the vast majority of your interactions with men.
Speaking from personal experience: Don't show up for the date with pitons and a coil of rope.
Most models are not over 6 feet tall. They are generally between 5'9" and 6'.
And no I'm not a modelizer. I'm just in the know.
If Reader Sidney's shorter than the date, here's a suggestion for a second date: Get a box of CFLs and invite her over for a green-themed light-bulb changing evening.
If you get there . . . kissing
If?
Megan, I'm good.
Thanks for the tips.
Actually, I generally tend to make a concious effort to ignore whatever the most prominent feature is on a woman, so I get the "loose" the tall comments. (I think that's how I got the date.)
But your advice to compliment her shoes if she wears high heels is mastery. You sould give lessons to guys on how to pick up women.
Thanks again.
Oh - this goes for shorter women, too - if you are happily married, it's best to get that out of the way REALLY early. Women can get irritable if you don't mention it until AFTER they've "wasted" an hour or two of their conversation on you.
Speaking as the 5'9" husband of a 6'3" wife, here is my advice:
1. Stairs are your friend, if you know what I mean.
2. Gently pulling her lips down to your level is not a bad thing.
3. Act like height doesn't matter. Because it doesn't.
Definitely a Costanza moment....
Emma B: All depends on what you're used to. I feel weird reaching up to kiss someone; more than one of my female friends has commented on how weird/unnatural it is to reach down to kiss someone. The 6'3" girl is probably used to reaching down by now, but that doesn't mean that Sidney is used to reaching up. Most 5'4" women, on the other hand, are probably used to reaching up and so won't think it's particularly awkward, or at least that it's anything out of the ordinary.
Candied parsnips ARE EXCELLENT NEWS!! FOR HILLARY!!!
I like tall girls. I doubt there is any advice one could give to a guy dating a "tall" girl though. Asking for advice seems kinda weird to me.
I'm a short man (5'2"). I've never felt awkward with taller women, have had no trouble meeting and dealing with taller women, or marrying a taller woman (my wife is 6').
1) She never wears heels, I think they're wildly impractical, but I admit women of any size look good in them.
2) I don't recall ever making a tall joke to or about her. Perfect strangers occasionally do.
3) She did play basketball in high school, and occasionally shoots hoops in the back yard.
4) I would never consider talking to a woman acquaintance about finding suitable clothing. What kind of moron would do this?
5) When it comes to kissing, there's nothing weird about it because the feeling is mutual and the time right for the activity. I guess in some way, it's supposed to seem strange, but it never did, and still doesn't.
Not that it would matter in THIS case, but I'm so thankful I'm 6'. I couldn't imagine being 5'5 or something.
If the woman you're dating is so fragile and bitchy that any of this "tall gal" advice seems like it might be useful, find another one.
More rules:
1. Do not say that you always wanted to play the jugs.
2. If you have to look up, stand back so you're looking at her eyes, without obstructions.
3. Resist naval gazing.
I have the exact opposite problem (I'm 5'2", my spouse is 6'3") and I mostly dated taller boys in high school and college.
However, the first time I ever went out with someone my own height (he was 5'4") it was really wierd. I'd never NOT had to stretch to kiss someone, never had to look down when sitting on a lap, never fit quite right. So, while I never really thought about it, I can imagine that being a tall girl who is used to guys at the same height or taller makes it a little odd to date a tall guy...because it's nto what you're accustom to.
That being said, when dealing with a significant height difference, stairs are your friend. My husband and I have a rule that when on an escalator we must neck.
As a 6'5" guy, let me say, first, that there are not enough 6'-plus women in the world. Never try to slouch down to other people's level. Stand tall and proud!
Second, dating much shorter people is a problem for both men and women. I used to date a 5'2" girl back in college, and the logistical problems are just as tricky as if the heights were reversed.
Finally, everyone is the same height lying down.
'As a 6'5" guy, let me say, first, that there are not enough 6'-plus women in the world. Never try to slouch down to other people's level. Stand tall and proud!
Second, dating much shorter people is a problem for both men and women. I used to date a 5'2" girl back in college, and the logistical problems are just as tricky as if the heights were reversed.'
I dated a 4'11" girl in college (I too am 6'5"). It wasn't a real problem since she had a good vertical leap and I can catch. The bigger problem was I was 3 times her weight.
To the guy who wondered about the "model" comment....
Never compliment a woman on her genetic beauty. She didn't earn that or make it herself. She got lucky and she knows it.
Better to compliment her on something she has a choice in making look good, like her outfit or her hairstyle. It is also a compliment about her decision making ability.
I'm 6'2", and have often dated girls a foot shorter. Stairs were made for kissing. If I'm lucky enough to date a taller woman I'm happy to take the top step. Any embarrassment is made up by neck relief.
I agree with all the comments except the kissing part. I know because I am 6 feet tall and my girlfriend is 6' 7". On our first date, she actually liked that I kissed while we were both standing. Even though I had never done that before, it was not awkward at all kissing up to her. She actually loves that I have to tilt my chin to look up to her and kiss her. I got over the looks people give us long ago for the most part. Bothers me once in a while, but it passes. She was used to looking down to kiss guys - - like the one poster said, it would weird FOR HER to have to look up to a guy because she rarely did it. Once I got on a box to kiss her, and she, not on purpose, instinctfully got on her tiptoes because the height difference is normal to her. For her not to feel awkward kissing down to a guy tells me something about the person she is, too.