[Peter Suderman]
The other night, I was having dinner with some friends in a fairly decent restaurant and was at the very peak of my form as a wit and raconteur.
That's Christopher Hitchens, modest and understated as ever.
Copyright © 2009 by The Atlantic Monthly Group. All rights reserved.
Oooh I sense a contest. Who can finish Mr. Hitchens' beginning in 200 words (give or take a few dozen).
Winner gets a vegan in the charming company of our usual hostess.
Second place gets two vegan dinners (sorry guys, only one with Ms. McArdle).
Oooh, I sense a contest. Who can do the best job of finishing up Mr. Hitchens' column in 200 words (give or take a couple dozen)?
First place gets a deluxe vegan dinner cooked and served by our usual hostess.
Second place gets two deluxe vegan dinners (take away).
Third place gets first dibs to have Hitchens' liver transplanted into them .... when the time comes.
It's a shock Hitchens never became a novelist, he has such an ear for dialogue. This quote from his 5 year old son really catches the tone of your average kindergartner: "Why are they called waiters?...It's we who are doing all the waiting."
What the tyke actually said was "Why are they called adult children of alcoholics? I'm only five."
I put my fag out on the little beast's rosy cheek.