There are a couple of commenters and emailers who declare that I have no idea what's involved in being a stay at home mom--not merely the childcare, but the cleaning, the laundry, the bills, the scheduling, arranging for repairs, and so forth. These people seem to be under the impression that I have a staff of ten or twelve, or perhaps live in the magical fairy world of single people where my air conditioner has not just broken, and the bill-paying gnomes show up once a month to organize my personal finances and regrout the bathtub. Sadly, I too do laundry, cook meals, pay bills, get the car serviced, repair broken appliances, wax the furniture, wade through accumulated mountains of paper, wash the dog, clean the drool off the walls, and so forth.
Moreover, I come from a pretty large extended family, and have put in my time as both a remunerated and an unpaid childcare worker. I am familiar with the operations involved, and rest assured, I can do all of them except breastfeed (right now, anyway). And just to put everyone's mind at ease, I do know at least enough to put the formula in the bottle and the strained peaches in the dish that your child is about to throw onto the floor.
I have, believe you me, endless respect for the fantastic amount of labor required to care for a child, and my hat is off to each and every one of you who has voluntarily undertaken this herculean task. But it is not "skilled" labor in the sense of "something comparatively few people know--or can quickly learn--how to do." It is particularly not "skilled" when we are talking about childcare, rather than parenting. Their job is to tend to your child's physical needs and keep him or her occupied. You still have to do the trickiest part of raising a decent human being.
I'm confused.....are you trying to rationalize how you will adjust your career when you find out you are about to me a mother ('cause I guarantee you it will absolutely not happen when you think the time is "right".....)
It seems to me that you have a career which is much more suited to being at home when a little one is there....clearly, I am assuming that you are writing from the comforts of your home....or wherever you choose to pull your thoughts together. I don't know about you, but I know very few people who are fortunate enough to even entertain the notion of managing a career from their domicile, and those people are very fortunate, in my opinion.
.....or are you trying to figure out how much decent childcare will cost you, when you find you need to pay for it, so as to minimize the impact to your career?
Either way, I think you've come to the realization that careers and parenthood come into direct conflict for all of us, when we realize a child is on the way, and decisions......hard decisions, to be sure.....need to be made on how to reconcile those conflicts.
I'm confused.....are you trying to rationalize how you will adjust your career when you find out you are about to me a mother ('cause I guarantee you it will absolutely not happen when you think the time is "right".....)
It seems to me that you have a career which is much more suited to being at home when a little one is there....clearly, I am assuming that you are writing from the comforts of your home....or wherever you choose to pull your thoughts together. I don't know about you, but I know very few people who are fortunate enough to even entertain the notion of managing a career from their domicile, and those people are very fortunate, in my opinion.
.....or are you trying to figure out how much decent childcare will cost you, when you find you need to pay for it, so as to minimize the impact to your career?
Either way, I think you've come to the realization that careers and parenthood come into direct conflict for all of us, when we realize a child is on the way, and decisions......hard decisions, to be sure.....need to be made on how to reconcile those conflicts.
You shouldn't have to explain yourself, Megan.
Oh what a less annoying we would live in if people just sought to understand what others say and not seek to interpret what others say in a way that gets themselves all riled up to make silly accusations and, thus, requiring a disclaimer...like from Megan in this case.
Chill out, people.
Wha?
I always thought "skilled labour" signified workers who had some form of advanced tertiary education (vocational counts too). The higher wages resulted from the greater value attached to such education.
I've been single, a single mom, and a caretaker of a household including husband and 4 children.
There's a huge difference!
Being at home is a skill just as childcare is or an MP or a doctor. If you don't it right something goes very wrong to either the child or the parent.
I have found my ways of being at home and staying sane, that is very unique from what I've seen. Parents during the day do the same thing a child care worker does and then at night parents do the same as you and many other paid employees do after work.
Difference is while you are at your skilled job I'm at home peeing, with toddlers running in and out of the bathroom, eating while fingers are taking my food and cleaning up constant poop from the dogs.
Yes you do that as well after work, but I do it the 8 hours while you are at work and then afterwards.
Let alone the extra bills I have for running a full house 24/7, breakfast, lunches and all the snacks that a daycare would provide with the daily fee. Being home I have to pay them directly to the source rather than a daycare. Our costs are high, our emotions are insane and yet we still do it but it is not VOLUNTARILY done. I for one was born to childcare my own children and I've known that all my life.
This comment was uncalled for.
" But it is not "skilled" labor in the sense of something comparatively few people know--or can quickly learn--how to do."
Whether we are at home or a paid job we all raise our children.
You still have to do the trickiest part of raising a decent human being.
"McArdle attacks motherhood; set to target apple pie."
Actually, there are really two kinds of parenting: mothering and fathering. Each results in equally good outcomes, but fathering is easier because we don't worry about the silly stuff: thank you cards for birthday parties; whether a six-year old is wathcing a Y7-rated TV show; whether by letting him skip this one meal our child can be expected to ever, ever eat again in his lifetime.
Clearly, fathering is much less "skilled" than mothering, but it also provides for more free time for everyone.
Where to begin? With Donna B, who squeezed out 4 kids and expects us to act like she's a doctor or a lawyer as a result? Or perhaps Sara, who is abusing her dogs by feeding them things that make them "constantly poop"?
Seriously, Sara: kids running into the bathroom while you're peeing? Lock the door -- or better yet, tell them to stay the f*ck out and discipline them so that they'll obey. "...eating while fingers are taking my food..."? Why don't you swat those worthless brats on the ass and tell them to leave your food alone? Oh wait -- if you did that, then they wouldn't yell and scream around MY table at the restaurant when they're a few years older. Can't have you raising your children like decent human beings, now can we?
It does take skill to raise kids properly, and judging by the uncivilized savages I see in restaurants and malls, none of the stay-at-home moms actually have that skill nowadays.
Bottom line: digging a hundred yard trench with your hands and a shovel is a very, *very* hard job. But it's not skilled labor. Neither is raising children -- at least not the way most parents do it today.
Hmm the persom who wrote the ast comment has obviously never had any children and does not now what does it take to have them. I guess its a good thing.