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Explaining science fiction to women

24 Jun 2008 12:37 pm

Reader KevDog says:

Sweet Lord in Heaven, you have got to be every tech boy's dream come true. As I remember, you like Battlestar Galactica, Dr. Who, and several other Sci-Fi shows.

Can you, perchance, teach my wife the allure of such things? I have to watch BSG when she's not home. Let us not even speak of attempting to watch the Good Doctor.

In all things there are trade offs, I suppose. But make it happen and I will find a way to get you a Dalek. I'm not above bribery.

I'm afraid I'm not quite the dream girl I sound like: I also have an unfortunate addiction to designer jeans and expensive kitchen equipment, do spend more time than the average science fiction fan thinking about window treatments, and have only pared down my shoe habit by dint of becoming a vegan and thereby limiting my shopping selection to Target.

But yes, I love me some Doctor Who, some Firefly, just caught up on BSG, own two copies of the Oxfor Book of Science Fiction Short Stories, have four first edition Sandmans, and really haven't emotionally come to grips with the fact that I am never going to have superpowers.

What I'm saying is, there's hope. A love for feminine frippery can be, and frequently already is, paired with a love of laser guns. But even if it's not already there, I think it can be awakened. You just have to explain it right.

Those of you who pitch science fiction to wives and girlfriends who do not enjoy it are probably saying something along the following lines: "Space ships! Alien monsters! Men in tights!" Instead, for women who find that sort of thing distasteful, talk about it as a fairy tale--only a fairy tale with science instead of magic. The basic emotional space it taps is the same.

You might also try to ease her into something with a little more human emotion and a little less space opera--I'm very fond of George R. R. Martin's current gigantic series. As far as television goes, start with Firefly, then maybe BSG, and then slowly work your way up to Dr. Who. Do not, under any circumstances, unveil Sliders until you're sure she can handle it. Same with movies: Gattica before Blade Runner. Graphic novels: Sandman, not V for Vendetta. You get the idea.

Of course, to be fair, my father bought me all the Robert Heinlein juveniles and Isaac Asimov when I was about eight, so I am perhaps not the exact perfect person to ask. But I think science fiction is a habit that can be acquired if you go about it the right way. Every genre has its language, and the longer you've inhabited that genre, the more comfortable it feels. Try to make sure her first exposures are to primary readers, not college texts.

I assume this also goes for women paired with SF hating men. But I feel like that's a rather rarer combination.

Comments (77)

I think upbringing matters greatly. My wife had a great relationship with her dad and watched quite-a-few sci-fi movies with him while growing up. So for her, even watching the B-quality flicks are nostalgic for her.

For my wife, the lead-in was Firefly. I then tried B5 and she really got into it. She's also very fond of the new Doctor Who. What those series have in common is that they are more focused on drama and character than whizzbangs.

I really wish George R. R. Martin would hurry forward and get to work finishing those books. They're sprawling out of control.

They're wonderful, and they've got some awesome characters (Tyrion lives!), but they're sprawling.

Funny, I've always been kinda' disinterested in science fiction, but then I never really thought of Blade Runner", which I did like, to be science fiction in the way I do other movies. I really liked Rutger Hauer's monologue prior to expiring.

Sliders? I love science fiction, but that show was aweful.

There are actually, from my experience, a good portion of women who enjoy sci-fi, not just the TV or the movies but also the literature and the graphic novels. And this is from before the sci-fi renaissance that came about in the mid-90s when it got to be more than just the Star Trek franchise on syndication.

I think the KevDog has the misfortune of being in a relationship where sci-fi is not an enjoyment to be shared, a high priority for him but not for her.

"I'm afraid I'm not quite the dream girl I sound like: I also have an unfortunate addiction to designer jeans and expensive kitchen equipment, do spend more time than the average science fiction fan thinking about window treatments, and have only pared down my shoe habit by dint of becoming a vegan and thereby limiting my shopping selection to Target."

Well, the vegan thing is a bit of a downer. I don't see why humans should give up meat if tigers, squirrels, and baboons, let alone chimpanzees, don't have to.

Otherwise, what's not to like? Vive la difference requires difference, no?

Strong female characters and good-looking men are key. You may have observed that the science fiction men like has strong male characters and good-looking women. (Good-looking women can also be a selling point for some women, but I take it that this is a heterosexual pair.)

I can look at David Tennant all day long.

It's all just stories, really. And actors. And designs. If all of the above are good, people tend to forget that it's a specific genre. The problem is that a lot of people have been exposed to bad science fiction, and they don't know what the good stuff looks like.

How about science fiction that is a fairy tale? My absolute favorite: Heinlein's Number of the Beast.

It's not at all clear that having girlish qualities in addition to being a sci-fi fan diminishes your "dream girl" qualifications.

I'm not prone to promoting my insignificantly microscopic blog, but I have an essay on this very topic that is, I think, germain:

http://andrewlias.blogspot.com/2008/05/brief-primer-on-interesting-loved-ones.html

The basic points I offer are:

1. Don't push
2. Express an openess to share your enjoyment
3. A little nudge is better than a big push
4. Be a faucet and not a firehose
5. Know your audience
6. Always be respectful

Number 4, in particular, is where a lot of sci-fi geeks (and geeks of all varieties) lose their partners. We geeks are almost infinitely obsessive about the things they love and it's often hard for us to realize that we're drowning our audience in needless detail and irrelevance when we're trying to share something that interests us.

It's actually Gattaca, after the four letters that encode DNA. Most guys I know hate this movie with a passion. The visual atmosphere was kinda nice, but the story is straight from 1970s teenage sci-fi.

For years, my Gateway Drug for science fiction has been Lois McMaster Bujold, particularly her Miles Vorkosigan series. Megan, if you haven't read these books, I suggest you do so. They tend to be adventure stories, but there's a lot of character stuff going on, and they even feature some romance.

Bujold's more recent fantasy stuff, well, blech. But then, this particular guy is a lot more interested in rocket ships and ray guns than castles and magic amulets.

Forestgirl, you might be the exception, but I would be a little curious about any woman that enjoyed Heinlein's adult novels. I went through a huge RAH kick in highschool and read almost everything of his until I learned A. he can only write one protaonist and B. he has issues with women that make Ayn Rand seem well adjusted. Actually, I think from the late 60's onward his main character was just John galt over and over again

expensive kitchen equipment = a woman who loves to cook. I think most men will happily take that tradeoff.

Another Gattaca hater here. Seriously, in the future we can genetically engineer people but we can't fix a spinal injury? Such gaps in logical story telling are usually a sign of a bad movie.

Sliders? The first two seasons were good, then the producers ran out of ideas.

For strong female characters take a look at H. Beam Piper and, of course, Anne McCaffrey and Ursula LeQuin (two very different writers, btw).

I prefer Piper to Heinlein, although Starship Troopers (the book, not the movie) is one of the best SF novels ever. It's a pity no one can write the sub-200 page novel anymore.

Piper's book "A Planet For Texans" is a libertarian SF piece.

Favorite female sci-fi characters: Molly from Neuromancer, Valentine Wiggin, Dr. Susan Calvin.

You might also try to ease her into something with a little more human emotion and a little less space opera

Farscape, of course, is a story about a romance.

And a space opera.

And I will refrain from comment about its "strong female character".

Well, OK, I'm a science-fiction hating man married to a sci-fi-liking woman.
But it strikes me that if one of you nerdboys _is_ trying to meet you some fine laydeez, revealing your love of the section of the bookstore which is really remarkably full of adolescent-male-oriented sex fantasy stories (and yes I realize the whole genre isn't like that, get off my case and go back to your XBoxs, nerdboys) isn't such a hot opening move.

expensive kitchen equipment = a woman who loves to cook. I think most men will happily take that tradeoff.

Except Megan does not eat meat so I'm afraid all that cooking effort and kitchen equipment is sort of wasted. Throw me a steak on a george foreman grill and I'll be happy.

On another point, I think fantasy and science fiction get conflated too often. The former has plenty of female fans as Harry Potter phenomenon indicates. Same goes for George R.R. Martin's books I imagine. Science fiction - not so much.

Ha! I totally ignored your advice on Sliders. My wife (then fiancee) was ill for a few days and I loaned her a pile of DVDs to help pass the time, which included seasons 1&2. I visited her the next evening to find that she was already four discs into Sliders, and still going. (Did I mention that my wife is awesome?)

Slightly off-topic, but I need to get my outage out about it - the new Doctor Who sucks. Big time. Like many, I was raised on Tom Baker's Doctor. And I eagerly awaited the new incarnation. What do they give us? A maudlin episode of a Dalek who commits suicide like some emo loser? The welfare state in the UK has ruined everything there.

I am one of the many women who love sci-fi (Spock was my first crush)and I think the obsessive attitude mentioned is one of the things that turns people off, but there are a ton of female sci-fi authors that disprove the idea of it as only a male game. I would highly recommend Octavia Butler or Ursula LeGuin to people who are looking to introduce women to the genre. I have trapped several friends that way.

Also, I think there is little real difference between Rand and Heinlein as far as maturity problems. I loved both of them when I was 15 and I grew out of both of them, but I will say that at least Heinlein is occasionally funny.

LeGuin, who is one of the best prose stylists alive, writes sci-fi that is feminist from the ground up.

For "hard" sci-fi in the tradition of Heinlein before he became a megalomaniac and a dirty old man, but with female protagonists, consider (selected) works by C.J. Cherryh. She can be a terrible repetitious bore for long stretches at a time, but nobody does action better when she gets rolling, and she will convince you that she knows exactly what it is like to live on a space station.

Look first at Rimrunners, which is too short to get really tiresome before the fireworks start. Also the Chanur series, which is a thought experiment: What if lions were intelligent and had opposable thumbs and spaceships? Lion women would stable and do all the work; the men would be decorative and dangerous and have to be kept away from the machinery.

Very odd post--I am the most avid SF reader I know, with more than 500 books owned and read. I choose a book by printing out the Hugo and Nebula award winners from the beginning, and buying the Novel of the Year. Then, if I like it, I buy every other book by the author I can find. And other than Heinlein and Asimov (two of my top 5 favorite writers along with Spider Robinson, Nancy Kress (No. 1 by the way), and Charles Sheffield (Nancy Kress' deceased husband), I HAVE NEVER HEARD of the other authors you mentioned.

Even more strange is that fact that the SF series you mentioned are exactly the ones I don't watch. I much more love ST DS9, Babylon 5, ST TNG and the original ST (Enterprise and Vogayer were not much in the writing department).

Just goes to show, different strokes for different folks.

Very odd post--I am the most avid SF reader I know, with more than 500 books owned and read. I choose a book by printing out the Hugo and Nebula award winners from the beginning, and buying the Novel of the Year. Then, if I like it, I buy every other book by the author I can find. And other than Heinlein and Asimov (two of my top 5 favorite writers along with Spider Robinson, Nancy Kress (No. 1 by the way), and Charles Sheffield (Nancy Kress' deceased husband), I HAVE NEVER HEARD of the other authors you mentioned.

Even more strange is that fact that the SF series you mentioned are exactly the ones I don't watch. I much more love ST DS9, Babylon 5, ST TNG and the original ST (Enterprise and Vogayer were not much in the writing department).

Just goes to show, different strokes for different folks.

so, as you can see, get a buncha sci-fi geeks together ant they will start arguing over which stories suck...

BUT...

find out what she likes, in general. Think of sci-fi as a universe where you can get pretty much any kind of story, because they all have stories. Then you can say 'will you watch this with me?' or somesuch. Most people don't appreciate having their doors broken down on this. If she hates heavy sci-fi, go for the lighter touch, if she likes comedy better, find that... Pull, don't push, as mentioned above.

Science Fiction ISN'T different than a romance novel, in terms of being fictional. It's just the trappings. You can have drama, comedy, action, passion... You just have to find the right combination.

She may find your interest in sharing your love of sci-fi quite nice, if you do it right.

If she hates all the aliens? Firefly [on DVD]. No aliens. {My ex was big on this, at least until we met Reavers, which aren't actually aliens} Good looking guys, beautiful women, and you can write a romance novel easily on several of the pairings. Plus? Hawaiian shirts and plastic Dinosaurs... what's not to like?

Doesn't mind aliens, but hates all the jargon of Star Trek? FarScape [on DVD] Series starts easily as more of an action adventure and turns darker with drama from there. Most tech stuff is done with a handwave [what's Hetch 6? fast. Who cares?] The female leads are very strong, and the male lead is stong enough to rescue the girl, weak enough to need her to rescue him, often. Eventually there is a lot of tight leather too. And critters, and god-like aliens.

Want comedy, and likes Brit' Humour? Red Dwarf [on DVD] or most incarnations of Hithiker's Guide to the Galaxy. [books, radio, BBC telemovie, regular movie.]

You might do Torchwood before Dr. Who, since Dr. Who has such a lot of baggage. Most chicks seem to dig Capt. Jack... Brit' Humour, not exactly comedy, but amusing.

Battlestar Galactica, as long as you start from the miniseries [on DVD], don't jump in to the middle. it can be pretty dramatic...

Don't forget Anime... I have had people I could swear NEVER would watch such things, believing that animation is for kids. Looked over my shoulder watching Cowboy Bebop, and wammo, they're anime snobs now.

And?

maybe she never will. I can't stand sitcoms in any way, and hate reality TV with a fiery passion. Just find some common ground, and realize that you may not start a lifelong fire, just have something to watch together...

In our house, all of the expensive cooking equipment is mine, so that's not much help.

Honestly, I would settle for mere tolerance. I tried Serenity, but maybe should go back for the series and see how that works out.

There are days that I even sit and watch Jon and Kate Plus Eight, so I feel that at least a little bit of reciprocity is due.

Gattaca? Hmm...is it worth for me to see Ethan Hawke slump his way through this movie again? I'll give it a try.

My Dad was a science fiction person and so is my little sister. She does read more Fantasy than I.

To start though science fiction is essentially about how change effects people and society. It doesn't have to have anything to do with adolescent men or their fantasies. It doesn't have to be by or about men at all. For some science fiction writers that I think would have little appeal to most adolescent boys.... (Bare in mind I know some, comparatively, obscure writers. I'll try to avoid names I consider too obscure)

Suzy McKee Charnas
Carol Emshwiller
Gwyneth Jones
Doris Lessing
Sheri S. Tepper
Kate Wilhelm

There aren't many real science fiction films on IMDB's top movies for women. I did find...

Star Wars
The Empire Strikes Back
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

I'm going to focus on "Eternal Sunshine" because it was not on the male list and because it's the only truly science fictional one. (Star Wars is epic fantasy with spaceships)

Going by it perhaps women prefer stories where the technology is important, but is primarily used to explore what some in the genre called "Inner Space." The "Twilight Zone"'s science fictiony eps did that. Also "Star Trek: The Next Generation" had an episode called "The Inner Light", which kind of does as well. I think a person who doesn't much like science fiction, or Star Trek, could enjoy that one.

Although women are varied and individualistic. Virginia Woolf reportedly liked Stapledon's "Last and First Man" which has almost no real human relationships or central character. (Unless you count entire species of humans as "characters")

Some people don't like sci-fi because they don't like reading, TV or movies. They will be harder to convince. I dated a girl like that for a while. Her interests were clubbing, sex and risking the lives of those around her. I couldn't interest her in Dr. Who... not even the Tom Baker episodes.

I enjoy some science fiction and so does my wife but I think we both favor good fiction regardless of the genre.

"Nancy Kress (No. 1 by the way),"

TR: I'm glad someone mentioned her she's a fave of mine.

And SwissArmyD's right that it depends on what kind of person she's like and what other things she likes.

And on romance there's an entire award for SF/Romance. Catherine Asaro is one of the big names in that subgenre. If we mean films there's been several Romantic type stories set in the future or involving Sci-Fi elements. There's Groundhog Day (more a time fantasy, but no wizards or unicorns or anything), Happy Accidents, 12 Monkeys (well in a way), Solaris (if she's an egghead or, if we mean the new version, if she thinks Clooney's hot), and maybe The Truman Show.

I find that fashion is much harder for me than diet when it comes to being vegan.

Have you ever tried Stella McCartney shoes? I highly recommend them, though they are REALLY expensive. Sometimes you can find a good deal on Bluefly though :-)

I grew up reading Asimov & Heinlein & Farmer & Douglas Adams, picking up a few other favorite authors along the way (Card, Niven & Pournelle, .

I loved Red Dwarf, and I like Dr. Who. I can barely tolerate Star Trek (well, the old series is good for a laugh), I found Star Wars (the original 3 movies) fun, liked Bladerunner, meh on Aliens, and on and on. My husband likes watching BSG and SG-1, but again, meh. It's just a difference in particular tastes. I have other sci-fi-loving female friends, but again we run the gamut of our preferences.

My husband didn't have to convert me to sci-fi.... but I converted him to Austen and Dickens. Watch out, this literary influence thing can run both ways.

Austen and Dickens are pretty awesome. I think the problem many people have with them is that they are forced upon us during a period of our lives when sex, clubbing and endangering the lives of others are way higher up the list of preferences.

"And on romance there's an entire award for SF/Romance. Catherine Asaro is one of the big names in that subgenre."

She is an odd one, though. She writes some of the hardest "hard sci-fi" around, and loads it with romance. She is also one of the two physicist/ballet dancers I've met.

The Liaden books, by Sharon Lee and Steve Miller, are delightful romantic fairy tales in a space opera setting. If you approach them as regular science fiction, some of the coincidences are pretty unbelievable, but if you regard them as stories where True Love is an important substrate to causality, they're wonderful.

Jack,

Well, I confess. I loved and still love Heinlein's adult novels. And I love Heinlein's female characters. What's not to love about sexy, gun-toting, black-belted women who speak six languages and have PhDs in hard sciences? Or who play starring roles in revolutions before puberty? Or who lead genetics clinics on pioneer planets?

Heinlein's adult novels are in my "silly but fun" category.

Nobody's mentioned James Schmitz. He's interesting because he wrote science fiction in the sixties— and it feels as though he wrote it decades later. He doesn't have the big reveal be the strong protagonist is female— he assumes it, and moves on. In fact, one of his galactic operatives is a little old granny who travels in a tinker cart. Basically, out of all of his contemporaries, he is the only one who looked at the cultural assumptions and totally discarded them. Even Piper didn't manage that.

I second the Bujold recommendation. She's about as perfect a gateway writer as I can imagine. Connie Willis is also good, but has a much slimmer catalog. (She writes really good stuff but I wish she'd do it faster!) Both of them are Hugo and Nebula winners, very highly regarded.

I'm looking at my shelves and noting that yes, more of the science fiction belongs to him and more of the fantasy belongs to me. But hey, I got Evil Rob to read and enjoy Mercedes Lackey*, and he introduced me to John Brunner, so we're all good.

*Encountered at the age of 28, actually, and enjoyed despite the fact that most people glom onto her as teenagers.

I'm going to come at this from a bit of a different direction. Science fiction is fiction that's about the pleasure of following a far-fetched idea. Some people just don't like to do that -- my dad can't enjoy any kind of novel, let alone one with made-up planets. But if she's not like that, I'd recommend some books that most people don't think of as science fiction, but have a speculative mood.

Carl Sagan, Contact -- which is more like a novel about science, and is still one of my favorite books.

Karel Capek, RUR (and other short stories.)
Wit, social satire, and the first robots ever.

Stanislaw Lem, Solaris.
If you like Calvino (who's also sometimes near-SF), you'll like Lem. Sad philosophy and breathing planets.

Also, why has nobody mentioned Ray Bradbury? He's probably the original gateway author. He made me miss Mars. If you like good writing you like Ray Bradbury.

Surprised at the lack of mentions so far of Ender's Game (which my father and I enjoyed pretty much simultaneously). Second the Connie Willis recommendation. Our hypothetical non-SF reader may be past the point (age-wise) of being able to get into Marion Zimmer Bradley, or may find The Mists of Avalon a thoroughly enjoyable read.

KevDog's wife's reaction to TV SF reminds me of my husband's reaction to boardgames. If that is the case it will take more than a couple good reads to change her mind. Although you could always throw Harlan Ellison at her and see what happens.

Also: Megan, PLEASE post about vegan shoes. I know where to get vegan shoes, and I'm a whiz at vegan purses, but I have a hard enough time finding leather shoes that fit me, let alone non-leather.

Eh. Well, I've always said that there was a rather obvious connection between science fiction and libertarianism.

It looks like what has been mostly recommended is science fantasy, however.

I'd recommend someone like Greg Egan if you really want to maintain the pretense that sf is 'the literature of ideas'. Another good guy would be Ted Chiang. Going back a ways, Fred Hoyle and Stanislaw Lem also do Big Ideas really well. Heinlein, Bujold, et al . . . not so much.

Fun reads in bed, though.

My recommendations: Anything by Melissa Scott. VERY good on cyberspace. Arthur C. Clarke (who I adore and actually got to talk to over a video link once.). E.E. "Doc" Smith is great for Space Opera (invented the genre.) David Brin (The Sundiver series). Stanislaw Lem is absolutely fantastic and speculative.

The best science fiction starts with "what if...?" and then spins out the gedankenexperiment from there. Clarke is the absolute best in my opinion at capturing the sense of wonder most scientists have about the universe and our role in it.

Another book I highly highly recommend is "A Canticle for Liebowitz". I place it as one of the top three books I have ever read.

"Ender's Game" Jessica

TR: As "Ender's Game" is largely the tormented youth of a boy genius they might've been thinking it doesn't fit the "women and science fiction" deal. The book does have many female fans though.

"Eh. Well, I've always said that there was a rather obvious connection between science fiction and libertarianism.It looks like what has been mostly recommended is science fantasy, however."

TR: This was about introducing a woman in one's life to science fiction.

Most women are not libertarians. I'd be tempted to say most libertarians are not women, but I'm less sure there. I think because of that it's been leaning against some standard SF stories like

And guess what? Megan is a woman who happens to be a libertarian . . . and is also a consumer of sf. I think the point goes to me.

There is also no such thing as 'science fiction', an indivisible whole. There are so many genres and sub genres, and even sub-subgenres. I wouldn't recommend any military sf to women, and certainly not military sf that is just re-fighting old battles. Bujold writes sf, but it is anything but 'the literature of ideas', entertaining though it is; I'd go more with Tiptree or Atwood for something like that. Going further back, the wifely half of the Kuttner team, C. l. Moore: Jirrell of Jory was one tough cookie. I've found that women are also partial to Pratchett, though not as much as I would have expected.

Science fiction blows donkey dicks.

Women that like "hard" scifi, the very technical stuff, are probably just more like guys. Likely they were tomboys growing up and read their older brothers and fathers collections of Heinlein and Nebula awards anthologies.

Conventional wives and gfs are more likely to enjoy fantasy, and personality based scifi like BSG and Firefly.

Were you a tomboy, Megan?

"LeGuin, who is one of the best prose stylists alive...."

God help me, y'all are nerdboy losers. You seriously believe that, don't you? Yeah, I've read some LeGuin. And if you think her prose in in the same _league_ as, I dunno, McEwan, or Pynchon, or Barth, or Naipaul, or Byatt, or....

I can't BELIEVE no one has mentioned the popular top-100 sci-fi and top-100 fantasy books/movies/tv polls at:

http://home.austarnet.com.au/petersykes/topscifi/lists_books_rank1.html

check it out. it's a great place to go to find classics you might have missed.

Glad to see Sanjay is spending his valuable time here giving us his keen insights. (I know, I know, don't feed the trolls. Sorry.)

On topic -- my wife has loved the same sci-fi TV that I have (namely B5 and BSG), for which I'm happy. She hasn't gotten into much SF in the way of books, though. (She did read Ender's Game and liked that, but I can't think of anything else SF-ish [or even fantasy, save Harry Potter] that she's enjoyed.)

I don't know that this has anything to do with "women" specifically though, just "anyone who thinks they don't like science fiction".

"Women that like "hard" scifi, the very technical stuff, are probably just more like guys." qf

TR: It's the 21st century. Women can like all kinds of things and still be women or even feminine. There's a female mathematician I read about once who's very into knitting and knits complex mathematical patterns.

"God help me, y'all are nerdboy losers." Sanjay

TR: Not everyone can have the same taste. Although I personally wouldn't consider Le Guin among the best prose stylist.

Putting the women thing to one side though there are SF writers who I think are among the great prose stylists. Did you ever try Gene Wolfe, Jonathan Lethem, Walter M. Miller Jr., Thomas M. Disch, Ian McDonald, or some of Robert Silverberg's 1970s stuff? (Granted science fiction is normally about the storytelling, not the prose style)

TR: "It's the 21st century. Women can like all kinds of things and still be women or even feminine. There's a female mathematician I read about once who's very into knitting and knits complex mathematical patterns."

I know that professor! Or at least a professor who does that. She teaches at my alma mater! Which, by the way, is a women's college with a ton of sf fans, "hard" stuff and not. so you're completely right.

I have been reading science fiction since I was a teenager and been involved conventions on and off for over 30 years. There have always been lots of women at the conventions. Most convention staffs are nearly 50% female these days. Women have always read and written SF.
Top women writers that I have not seen listed above include:
Anne McCaffery
Elizabeth Moon
Jody Lynn Nye
Marion Zimmer Bradley
Margaret Weis
Sharon Shinn
CJ Cherryh
Elizabeth Bear
Then there are all the women who write fantasy.

I would recommend Cordwainer Smith, not necessarily as an intro to the genre (& a large & very sub-divided one it is) for women, but as perhaps the most alien (yet w/ very few aliens) & imaginative, just plain different speculative-fiction. And Robert Silverberg is about as literary as you can get in s-f, & good too. I recently read a Silverberg anthology of virtually all his short works, at a library yet. Can't remember the title, though...

Best thing for introduction to the literature, as opposed to the films & telebision (most of which is crappy but not un-enjoyable) might be to get a short storiy anthology, rather than just confront someone w/ an epic length novel.

But KevDog, what's wrong w/ watching something while the significant other is out? Then you can concentrate on it w/o distraction, & you'll have something to look forward to. Unless she never leaves, & gives you serious grief when you do want to watch something. Maybe two telebisions would solve the problem.

God, there are times I get sick to death of my own gender. Battlestar Galactica not Bridget Jones! Farscape not Sex and the City!

I'm not above pounding this into my fellow females' empty little heads when they least expect it. I'm a girl, I'm allowed to.

If the writer really want's to get his wife into watching Dr. Who quickly he should try the Tenant episode "Girl in the Fireplace". Part faery tale, part period love story, all Dr. Who. One of the best eps in the entire history of the show.

Speaking of kitchen porn:
Bread Maker.. (store bread's just too darned expensive, and this thing will even make meatloaf!!)
Drip coffee for the Contra Cafe..

Now if you can answer this question without googling, you'd be PERFECT:
"What is the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow?"

;)

Bester's The Stars My Destination an early and close to perfect science fiction novel.

Farscape is a great gateway to science fiction for women. If I remember correctly, the Save Farscape organization was overwhelmingly female.

Atwood's A Handmaid's Tale (a complete rewrite of Heinlein's 1939 novella If This Goes On... btw,) about a religous society wherein women are completely submissive, or her Oryx and Crake about the dangers of genetic engineering might be good novels to begin reading science fiction.

I cut my teeth on The Twilight Zone and segued quickly into Heinlein's juveniles. I never particularly liked Clarke or Asimov because the character development just wasn't there. I never cared about the protagonists. I appreciated the ideas but never really liked or ever wanted to reread the novels.

For a long time every novel I picked up was awful. I'm of the opinion that much of the hard science fiction is written by Asperger's folks for other Asperger's folks. I'm a nuclear engineer so it isn't because I didn't understand it, and maybe I just found the familiar boring. Bottom line, we don't have to know how a microwave oven works to discuss how it has changed our eating habits, do we?

The science fiction I like explores how technology changes our culture and our relationships. YMMV. Nancy Kress is great at that.

Love me some Captain Jack. Am I the only one who has always found Daleks boring?

A good gateway to SF for many women was "Quantum Leap," back when that was on. DVDs of it might work. "Lost" is a more recent gateway -- that show recently really tipped its hand that yeah, it's sci-fi.

Those of you who are playing up "Girl in the Fireplace" as a good way to get your significant other interested in Doctor Who will be happy to know that that episode's writer, Steven Moffat, will be running the whole show in a couple of years. (His "Blink" from the following season is also excellent.)

I'm a female with largely non-female tastes (though I do like to smell nice, but some men like to do so as well).

Maybe there is a spectrum here - I LOVE BSG, got addicted to Next Generation way back when, own most of the Sandman comix, read Lovecraft etc..... but Doctor Who is just asking too much. Sweet Cthulu, can you say "cheeseball?" The BBC gave us Jeremy Brett as Holmes, and then it gave us the flying phonebooth and the guy with wierd hair too (and what is it with the female sidekicks - does anyone pay attention to them or are they like the disposable Law & Order girls?).

What a marvellous post. I had to write my own post thinking about what I like and dislike about sci-fi as a result.

I'm a hetero girl who likes sci-fi too and most so-called male tastes (I just don't get sports and cars, sorry - uless you stick a Dalek in, I'd watch even football then!), I like fluffy things, cute animals, cooking, shopping and make up, but hate soaps, soppy romances and fake tan. Funny that's the norm between most of my female friends so I find odd and incredibly boring when others don't like any kind of sci-fi!
I'm not sure how I acquired my tastes, probably because I'd watch so much TV since a very early age that things like Star Trek seemed like the real world to me. From there to films and (very few) books was just a natural progression.

Having good looking men on screen is always a big plus, so I'd suggest that as starting point to get girlfriends/wives involved. And compromising of course, at least try to be interested in some of her stuff too!

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater, what do you mean, an African or European one? (too easy!!!)

To every woman that points out how they like "guy things" and "girl things"...

I'm a straight man who embroiders and collects plush kittens, but still likes sci-fi, good beer, and other traditionally "manly" things. If I'd been born a girl, I'd be fighting off suitors -- but because I'm male, it took an unusual (and wonderful!) woman to be even slightly interested.

Sexism, apparently, works both ways. It's great that y'all love sci-fi and all that (I think many girls are taught to stay away for no good reason except that such things are "boy stuff"), but all this "girls need softer sci-fi to be interested" crap is making me ill.

Women need well-written sci-fi to be interested. A lot of work rests entirely on genre conventions, without having much actual merit beyond that.

Liking science-fiction is a minority interest.

It's not a "girl thing" and it's not a "guy thing". It's something that some people really like, and a lot of people don't.

If KevDog's girlfriend doesn't like science-fiction, or to be clear, doesn't like the kind of science-fiction KevDog likes, well, she doesn't: if it's important to him that they share interests, maybe he should try finding out what she likes and take an interest in that?

Liking science-fiction is a minority interest.

It's not a "girl thing" and it's not a "guy thing". It's something that some people really like, and a lot of people don't.

If KevDog's girlfriend doesn't like science-fiction, or to be clear, doesn't like the kind of science-fiction KevDog likes, well, she doesn't: if it's important to him that they share interests, maybe he should try finding out what she likes and take an interest in that?

Liking science-fiction is a minority interest.

It's not a "girl thing" and it's not a "guy thing". It's something that some people really like, and a lot of people don't.

If KevDog's girlfriend doesn't like science-fiction, or to be clear, doesn't like the kind of science-fiction KevDog likes, well, she doesn't: if it's important to him that they share interests, maybe he should try finding out what she likes and take an interest in that?

I encourage him to slide Audrey Niffenegger's the Time Traveler's Wife onto her nightstand.

I'd echo Megan's suggestions of Firefly and BSG. There are episodes in BSG that have more to do with the human aspect of the story than the sci-fi aspects that KevDog's wife might enjoy. "Final Cut" (2x08) comes to mind, since it focuses on the media portrayal of the military and features Jamie Bamber in a towel. ;)

Not in any particular order

Female authors not in the space opera mode:
Eleanor Arnason
Gwyneth Jones
L. Timmel Duchamp
Kelley Eskridge
Mary Gentle
Octavia Butler
Ursula LeGuin, especially 1990s onward
Margaret Atwood
Nalo Hopkinson
Maureen McHugh
Elizabeth Vonarberg
"James Tiptree" / "Raccoona Sheldon" (pen names of same person)

Male authors not in the space opera mode:
Ted Chiang
Gene Wolfe
Robert Wilson
Samuel "Chip" Delany (ok, literary space opera)
Rafael Carter
The One And Only Stanislaw Lem

I am afraid that hard-core battle sci-fi is not my cup of tea, at least in book form. It seems better suited to movies.

1. She's my wife, not my girlfriend.
2. I didn't say SF was a girl thing or a guy thing, you did.
3. I've watched enough Jon & Kate Plus 8, Julia Roberts movies and gardening shows to last a lifetime of Sundays.
4. You are everything that is wrong with feminism.


Well I happen to be female and I happen to like sci-fi.
Here's some of the stuff I like, don't know if this is helpful

Books:
John Wyndham - read his stuff, it's excellent, old-fashioned British sci-fi, mostly cosy catastrophe but some of the short stories are disturbing.
Anne McCaffrey - fun light reading, not exactly great literature, plenty of romance.
Iain M. Banks, very well written, very dark, ok maybe not the best introduction
Louise Lawrence; thought-provoking sci-fi for young people, has slight Christian overtones.
H. G. Wells, why not start with the classics, probably only a good introduction if they like reading classic literature.

T.V.
The recent T.V Sci-fi; Heroes, Firefly, Torchwood, Doctor Who. I think these would make a great introduction to sci-fi. I also love watching Blake's 7 but thats definitely a minority interest; it's old BBC sci-fi from the 70s.


Well I happen to be female and I happen to like sci-fi.
Here's some of the stuff I like, don't know if this is helpful

Books:
John Wyndham - read his stuff, it's excellent, old-fashioned British sci-fi, mostly cosy catastrophe but some of the short stories are disturbing.
Anne McCaffrey - fun light reading, not exactly great literature, plenty of romance.
Iain M. Banks, very well written, very dark, ok maybe not the best introduction
Louise Lawrence; thought-provoking sci-fi for young people, has slight Christian overtones.
H. G. Wells, why not start with the classics, probably only a good introduction if they like reading classic literature.

T.V.
The recent T.V Sci-fi; Heroes, Firefly, Torchwood, Doctor Who. I think these would make a great introduction to sci-fi. I also love watching Blake's 7 but thats definitely a minority interest; it's old BBC sci-fi from the 70s.

To some of the posters here, and in the subsequent post on this issue, here: http://meganmcardle.theatlantic.com/archives/2008/07/thats_for_girls_he_said_scornf.php

I have read and watched SF, as well as RPG'ed, collected comics and action figures. With my husband I own seasons of Stargate, Farscape, Babylon 5 and Alien Nation on DVD. I read hard SF as well as space operas, spec fic, and classic B-movie cheese. And I know a fair number of women JUST LIKE ME. We exist in huge numbers.

We're also present as authors, artists and performers in the sci-fi world. There's a heck of a lot of female participants out there, and many of them are fans. Perhaps their numbers are less than those of their male counterparts, but then again, just a couple of centuries ago women wrote under male pen names. Many pioneers of SF who were women did the same, hiding behind initials and androgynous names, like H.M. Hoover, Leigh Bracket.

Heck, even fifty years ago, women were still discouraged from studying sciences and engineering -- it would seem to make sense that they would be less the fully represented in a genre that draws from those fields. And yet they still were there, in surprisingly large numbers:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Women_science_fiction_authors


It seems to me that males who feel their wives/partners aren't sufficiently into their geeky loves need to accept something: you married who you married, knowing who they were. Just as she does not participate in all you adore, I'm sure that you are equally disinterested in some of her passions. So be it.

But don't sell the gender short, or try to fit us into a stereotype. That's just not cool.

B

To some of the posters here, and in the subsequent post on this issue, here: http://meganmcardle.theatlantic.com/archives/2008/07/thats_for_girls_he_said_scornf.php

I have read and watched SF, as well as RPG'ed, collected comics and action figures. With my husband I own seasons of Stargate, Farscape, Babylon 5 and Alien Nation on DVD. I read hard SF as well as space operas, spec fic, and classic B-movie cheese. And I know a fair number of women JUST LIKE ME. We exist in huge numbers.

We're also present as authors, artists and performers in the sci-fi world. There's a heck of a lot of female participants out there, and many of them are fans. Perhaps their numbers are less than those of their male counterparts, but then again, just a couple of centuries ago women wrote under male pen names. Many pioneers of SF who were women did the same, hiding behind initials and androgynous names, like H.M. Hoover, Leigh Bracket.

Heck, even fifty years ago, women were still discouraged from studying sciences and engineering -- it would seem to make sense that they would be less the fully represented in a genre that draws from those fields. And yet they still were there, in surprisingly large numbers:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Women_science_fiction_authors


It seems to me that males who feel their wives/partners aren't sufficiently into their geeky loves need to accept something: you married who you married, knowing who they were. Just as she does not participate in all you adore, I'm sure that you are equally disinterested in some of her passions. So be it.

But don't sell the gender short, or try to fit us into a stereotype. That's just not cool.

B