I don't want to make too much of myself, but at the age of 22, I wrote what may be the worst novel ever penned in the English language. So I was particularly interested in John Scalzi's explanation of
why writers tend to be older. But even if you have not written the worst novel in the English language, you will be interested too.
Wacky scheme suggestion:
Agree to put your book into PDF form and release it if you collect and adequate amount of cash in a electronic tip jar. If it's truly the worst novel ever written, you should be able to profit from it.
Yes please! I'm kind of curious. It's surpassing cruel to dangle something like this in front of your readers unless you plan to follow through.
http://www.cradkilodney.net/
in case you needed a reference for the worst works in the english language, LOL
Speaking of your youth Megan - I'd love to hear your thoughts on Bravo's new show NYC Prep.
http://www.slate.com/id/2221162/
The psychic losses would require compensation in the mid-six-figures, at least.
Well, I'm in for a buck, eigenman would probably match that...
So, 499,998 more voracious readers to go! That would be almost a decent downpayment for a place in Georgetown (once the prices come down a bit, of course).
You should at least give us faithful commenters the name of the book. Curious minds want to know!
"Derivatives of Denial"
Chapter 1
Persephone laid down her copy of The Age of Anxiety next to her well-highlighted copy of the Wall Street Journey. Longingly, she looked out to the street where a small crowd of revelers merrily walk out from a bar into the night's air. Why, oh why, should her impeccable analytical brilliance be married to such heart wrenching loneliness, especially for such a rare, beautiful soul?
The title was taken from an Edward Arlington Robinson poem. That's as much as I'd care to admit at this time.
Isn't it also a matter of how much material you've got to work with? I once saw a play by a 17-year-old author. The topic? A high school girl with a terminal disease. It was good, but that's one of the few compelling topics someone that age is going to have access to. At least if they come from a middle class environment and nothing really unusual has happened to them yet.
There was that young man who survived being a child soldier in a civil war in Africa, but that's a whole different situation. For most people, it takes a while to accumulate a stock of stories that someone else would want to read.
Hearing your voice takes time, attention to something other than 'me.'
Few achieve such zen in youth.
So we've known that you've written under Jane Galt, now we know you've also written under Dan Brown.
Edwin Arlington Robinson poem titles are here.
I'm going to go with "Fortunatus." Or maybe "The Torrent and the Night Before?"
Other guesses?
Child of Scorn
Visions of a Warrior Bold.
I've never actually attempted to write a novel, but I have no doubt that I could do much worse than you.
Out of curiosity, did you follow the absolutely terrible creative-writing teacher's advice to "write what you know"?
I tried once, but I had a hard time finding the continuation after "It was a dark and stormy night."
Change the punctuation at the end to a comma, and add "after a rainy, mildewy afternoon.
"Our hero started to realize that the idyllic Northwest climate he was sold a mere six months ago takes a different character during the winter."
Only 89,964 words to go. One AI reader-contributed MadLib novel coming right up.
I read a real, published author who did a little essay affirming that you should "write what you know". He was explaining why he never did war stories: he'd never experienced war.
Then I realized, he (Larry Niven) was a SCIENCE FICTION author. He wrote novels set on artificially created worlds, with genetically modified humans and aliens. Either his life was much more interesting than he lets on, or he didn't practice what he preached except when convenient.
A more accurate statement is: Don't write what other people know better than you.
Tom Clancy was an insurance agent, and he seems to have done all right.
Yeah, and his first novel was his best-written, most compelling one. Clancy is an exception in all sorts of ways.
How does that mean Niven wasn't writing what he knew? Bar the Jules Verne-style "Wouldn't it be cool if..." stories, sci-fi, fantasy, and other alternate-world fiction aren't based on the wacky alternate universes, that's just a setting. The important parts are still the characters and the story - whether the war is between France and Germany or Federation and Borg, whether the character is dying of cancer or a wizard's curse, is chaff. I'd trust a Roman legionary to write a story of the Iraq war before I trusted a modern civilian to do the same.
How about the The Heart Is a Lonely Hunter? Carson McCullers was only 23.
There are exceptions -- Matt Yglesias's father wrote a critically-acclaimed novel when he was a teenager, I think -- but for most people it takes years to get the "suck" out before you can become a good writer.
Actually, "most people", and I assume you mean aspiring writers, never get the "suck" out of their writing. Good writers, especially good fiction writers, are a rare breed.
Megan,
Thank you for the link to John Scalzi's blog, Whatever.
While there, I stumbled on his comment from 2002 called I Hate Your Politics. Truly a funny piece. Here is the link:
http://whatever.scalzi.com/2002/03/22/i-hate-your-politics/#comment-151971
Tim in Portland
The turnaround time for short stories can be much, much shorter. I think I went from writing my first submitted story to publication in less than a year.
Besides the craft of writing ( there are young poets and songwriters) a novelist has to have something to say which means experience. Mailer,
Michener and Heller didn't pen their WW2 novels in 1946 either so, it would seem, one needs time to reflect on the exact story one wants to tell not merely chronicle events.
I hate to burst your bubble, but I seriously doubt it was the worst novel ever. I doubt you've picked up your ability to form grammatically-correct sentences in the years since you wrote that novel, and that ability puts you way ahead of a lot of other novel-writers.
Megan,
Your novel is worse than the books of John Scalzi? I'm impressed. And you only 22 to boot. With that track record I think that you can aspire to be worse than Dan Brown by the time that you are 30!