Megan McArdle

« The Other CBO Health Care Report | Main | Is Fox a Real News Operation? »

Mental Health Break

20 Nov 2009 11:56 am

The Real Problem with vampires.

Comments (4)

http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2009/nov/20/peru-gang-killing-human-fat

Not vampires, these guys are robbing people of their life for flesh. Financial incentives for organ transplants couldn't possibly have the same result though... Yayaya... sure I know... there are some bad people out there and they'll always just be killing people and selling their organs, whether or not there are rules that permit buying them right?

Apologies for teh complete threadjack, but there's not a threat yet.

Slanders! Buffy was awesome. Plus, "Angel is lame" was a reoccurring, explicit theme. Or to quote from a very early episode:

"How can I thank you, you mysterious, black-clad hunk of a night thing?"
'No need, little lady, your tears of gratitude are enough for me. You see, I was once a badass vampire, but love, and a pesky curse defanged me. Now I'm just a big, fluffy puppy with bad teeth."
"But there must be someway I can show my appreciation."
"No, helping those in need's my job, and working up a load of sexual tension, and prancing away like a magnificent poof is truly thanks enough!"
"I understand. I have a nephew who's gay, so..."
"Say no more. Evil's afoot, and I'm almost out of that Nancy-boy hair gel I like so much. Quickly, to the Angel-mobile, away!"

As someone who went to an all-girls high school, we not only were aware that the male of the species might expect more from a sleepover than dewey-eyed gazes and chaste hugs, we were rather interested in the idea of more than dewey-eyed gazes and chaste hugs ourselves. While we might have different views about timing (with the Christian groups being firmly "marriage then sex"), and be nervous about the thought of the first time, I don't recall anyone dreaming of living a life of celibacy, and our interest wasn't solely driven by a desire to become mothers.

As for Stephenie Meyer's non-sex vampire, this strikes me as just a way of generating Unresolved Sexual Tension (UST), a valuable plot element in any romantic story. Most TV series will rapidly introduce two characters who are clearly meant to be together, and then use all sorts of devices to keep them apart for as long as possible, because UST draws viewers in. What people want in a story is not the same as what people want out of life.

Vampire mythology is pretty divided on whether vampires can even have sex. I don't think Anne Rice's vampires could. Chelsea Quinn Yarbro's definitely can't (though they do get off from nibbling on their paramours' necks.)
As for soulful, wimpy vampires, this is nothing new. Way back there was a low-budget, rather campy gothic soap called Dark Shadows (can occasionally be found on obscure channels as reruns) which featured the endlessly self-pitying Barnabas Collins, coffin-dweller.

Comments on this entry have been closed.